Love~Learn~Grow~Change: LOVE
If you haven’t done so already, begin this lesson by downloading the handout for the course. You can find it here.
LOVE is where the Love~Learn~Grow~Change model begins.
As one of the cornerstones of the cycle it holds a natural, important and beautiful role in the model. You’ll also find it to be a constant presence throughout The Ascendant Woman journey.
The expansive topic of Love has, of course, been a source of creative inspiration for poets, musicians, writers, lovers, artists and – quite literally – everyone who slows down enough to feel its presence.
Love has been studied, written about, honored in every way possible, and still….still!…. it holds mysteries yet to be revealed!
You will begin to grasp the depth of this quadrant by making a clear distinction between a “small-l” kind of love and a “Big-L kind of Love”.
Remember, distinctions are not a one-is-better-than-the-other comparison. Distinctions, rather, empower awareness about our daily experience by creating clarity of meaning, not judgment.
As you journey on the road to re-claiming your personal power it will be essential that you know — and make your choices — from the difference between “small-l love” and “Big-L Love”.
Small-l love is provisional love. It is conditional.
For example, you can “love” chocolate for the satisfaction it gives you and for the craving it fulfills. Or, you can “love” the restaurant nearby for the way they care for the food and service they deliver.
In the realm of human relationship, small-l love is the kind of love that is given in exchange for someone behaving in a particular way.
Psychologists may call this kind of love “co-dependency”, and it is a way of being in relationship that is often mistaken for deeper Love. For example someone says, “I always do what he wants me to do because if I don’t, I’m afraid he won’t love me and stay in the relationship”.
That’s small-l love…
Small-l love is the kind of love that wants a return on its investment!
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Quick Quiz!
[rapid_quiz question=”Which of the following are examples of “small-l love” in relationship?” answer=”All are examples of “small-l love”” options=”“I love you when you buy me diamonds!”|“He married her for her inheritance”|“I love my boss because she always lets me leave work early.”|All are examples of “small-l love”” notes=”All are examples of small-l love.”][/stextbox]
Contrast small-l love with this:
A billion stars go spinning through the night,
Blazing high above your head.
But in you is the presence that
Will be, when all the stars are dead.
–Ranier Maria Rilke
When it comes to understanding Big-L Love, poets like Rilke have been speaking and writing about it for centuries….
… A Greater Kind of Love
… Something universal
…. Something beyond
They express a kind of Love — Big-L Love — that cannot be analyzed; it can only be realized!
Here are a few of the words and themes that great teachers and poets have used to describe Big-L Love:
- Allowing
- Accepting and Receiving
- Flowing
- Heart At Peace
- Metaphors drawn from a greater Source at play
Rumi wrote:
Love said to me,
There is nothing that is not me.
Big-L Love is Unconditional Love.
It is inclusive.
To give yourself the opportunity to experience the point of view of the LOVE quadrant, you will have to
Slow Yourself Down
We like to say, “pull yourself over!” Pull over to the curb of life and take a few calm, easy breaths.
It takes attention to your Self to feel the processes that are going on inside of you.
Slow down. Give yourself a chance to feel and reflect.
You’ll like it, especially when you have good personal growth tools to work with. This course is designed to be one tool you can use.
Good coaching, then, is like powerful software. It accelerates your progress and supports you for the long term with the tools you are using.
HOW TO ACCESS THE POWER OF THIS QUADRANT
Here is an easy way to get a feeling for the essence of the LOVE portion of the LLGC cycle:
- Slow down
- Think of any current situation or circumstance that is going on in your life.
- Hold your attention on it with the intent to understand it more fully…
- Ask these questions:
“Am I Loving?”
and
“Where is Love hidden in this situation?”
This approach, when applied with ease, attention and a sense of purpose, will show you the power of standing on this cornerstone and feeling deeply what the LOVE point of view can do for you.
To complete this lesson – and before you move on to the next cornerstone – lock in your learning by making some notes in your journal and answering the QuickQuiz question.
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Quick Quiz!
[rapid_quiz question=”Which of the following is a TRUE statement?” answer=”All are true” options=”You can recognize small-l love by its provisional quality. |Big-L Love is not easily spoken, but it can be be recognized by the feeling of inclusiveness|In any situation or circumstance LOVE is present|All are true” notes=”All are TRUE.”][/stextbox]
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